Did he say he wanted to build a fort???!!!!! YES!!!!! Sign me UP!- Toya

This boo right here, Spencer Butt, has made me giggle all morning. This made my day. Origami Valentine's Day cards? My soul says yes.

I love love. As the line in Brown Sugar goes "It's the possibility of a thang." And although the timeline history of my life would suggest that I am The Statue of Liberty for the world's most emotionally unavailable men, I still believe in love finding me. Yes, LOVE finding ME because I am not looking.

There is a song that I am diggin right now by an artist named Ayah called "He Don't Want It". The lyrics escape me right now but basically it reminds me of a theory that I have. I think some women get too excited when a guy seems to be into them. I don't think the issue a lot of times is "Is he into you?" as much as it is "Is he into you enough to love you right and do something about it?" It's the difference between being interested and being committed. A guy can be interested all day long but interest requires very little, if any, responsibility. And so at the mere hint of interest, a lot of women compromise what they know they deserve in hope that this could be "It".

Please.

When the desire to be in a relationship trumps the love of yourself and your own personal well being you want a relationship TOO MUCH. We shouldn't want anything that much. Anything that makes you feel like you have to work and work to show a man that you are enough is not worth a woman's self esteem. I understand feeling like men need help but...really? Do they? They are natural pursuers. They go after what they want and if they aren't going after you in the way you deserve then is it worth it?

And so we are afraid to be alone. There are worse things than being alone. I am not going to speak for everyone but my personal preference is this: Let me be alone then. If I can't have love the way that I want it and the way I know I deserve it then I really and finally am okay being alone even if it is for the rest of my life. I refuse to go through that turmoil of trying to make someone see something. I'm awesome! You are too! If someone can't see that enough to go for it but keeps sniffing around like a dog then stop trying to prove yourself. You are awesome...AS IS.

I love me. I love love, I want love. In that order.

Eye Candy Friday or Why I watch Grey's Anatomy - Tia

I have been a faithful watcher of Grey's since about day one. I don't remember how I came upon it, but I do know that I have seen every episode and own all available DVDs. I suffered through the dead Denny hallucinations as well as the 2 minutes of George in season 5. (I was a fan of George.) I'm hooked and will stay that way.

People have said that the show fell off last season and that it's not what it used to be. They say the writing has suffered, the plots are thin. People are entitled to their opinions. And some of them may very well be correct. But I would just like to say that I will be watching Grey's Anatomy until they take it off the air. And I don't care if the only dialog that is spoken is the recitation of the alphabet. As long as Shonda Rhimes (God bless that woman) sees fit to parade men like this across my screen every week, she will have my viewership until the very end.

Dear Heavenly Father,
You make beautiful and wonderful things. I praise you because your worthy and Lord your creations are GOOD.
Love,
Your awed and thankful daughter




Enjoy the rest of your day. And you're welcome.

Would we steer you wrong? - TiaEvery year around this time, I find myself humming the song It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year. I'm sure you're scratching your head and wondering why? February is typically cold and dreary. You're coming off the high from Christmas and New Year's. And for most of us, there isn't another major holiday (translation: a day off of work) until May.

The reason that I am typically happy is because it's tax season. Now I know some of you are still scratching your head wondering why I would be happy about that. Well for me, tax season always means REFUND. I am meticulous when it comes to keeping receipts, noting donations and anything else that will mean that I can get my money back from the thieves at the IRS. I NEEEEEED my money. Especially around this time of the year. Between Christmas and every man in my family having a birthday in January, come February 1, I'm blowing the cobwebs off of my checkbook and trying to figure out how to make Ramen noodle casserole. AND this year thanks to Prez. Bush leaving us with the check, the sinking economy left me unemployed for the last 3 1/2 months of 2009.

So I'm always happy to see that w-2 hit my mailbox because I know that in NO time at all I will have my money back. And I have to say, most to that is due in part to Turbotax. I have used them for the last 5 or so years. They are AMAZING. They make my anal receipt keeping easy to file. They have an audit finder that flags anything that may bring the wrath of the IRS down on me. And e-file is SO easy.

I know this sounds like an endorsement for the product...Frankly, that's exactly what it is. Turbotax makes it easy and it's practically idiot proof. Trust me, I was studying to be certified to do taxes. It is neither fun, nor simple to do your taxes on your own. Turbotax takes the headache out of it.

Here's the link to their website. And whether your return is simple, mildly complicated or a down right pain in the butt like mine is, you will find what you need. And (gasp!) you can even talk to a real live person if you so need or desire.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to write out a few checks and stick them on my bulletin board so that when I get my refund in 2 weeks, I can just drop them in the mail and tell quite of few of the companies I do business with that I will no longer be using their services. "Here is your money. I bid you good day...I SAID GOOD DAY!!!"

Oh and in case you're wondering...we don't receive any sort of compensation from Turbotax. we just both really like their product.

Music - Tia

Not too long ago, BGLU hipped you to up-and-coming artist Coury Palermo. His new EP theminorfall hits iTunes on March 9th. But all the cool kids know that you can listen to tracks from the EP and some bonus songs from his album of covers, boxsideoutV.I, on SoundCloud. My current favorite "grip me up in the corner and have me feeling some kind of way" track is Sunday Black. I'll let you listen to that in your own time. But check out Meant to Be below.

meant to be by coury palermo

Random Question of the day - Tia

Do any of you faithful readers watch Lost?

Hot Mess Championships: The 2010 Grammy Awards by Toya

So much pressure! LOL! I have to be honest. I don't know if I have that much to say. This year's Grammys seemed, well, a little lackluster. I will say that the Grammys are usually a little bit classier than the other award shows; the Oscars of the music industry if you will. But this is America so you know there were some hot mess occurrences. Prior to the show I was already disgusted to hear that "Blame It" won a Grammy but then again so did "Baby Got Back" during the 90’s. I tried to keep my expectations low and thank God. Let's discuss, shall we?

1. Lady Gaga: Holy Ziggy Stardust, Batman! This is the first Lady Gaga performance that I have ever seen where I didn’t feel like getting in the shower with my clothes on and start trembling like that man from “The Crying Game”. I usually feel a little…affected. But this time she didn’t give me the creeps! Heaven forbid I have either been turned over to a reprobate mind (where my ”chuuch” folks at?) or she wasn’t that scary. For some reason I kept thinking about that scene with Evilene from The Wiz and wondering if she would make an appearance. Evilene didn’t show up but Lady Gaga did later appear as The Good Witch…on ice.

2. Elton John and Lady Gaga: Not nearly as awkward as the “Stan” duet he did with Eminem but he gets the “C’mon Son” award from me this year. I understand him wanting to commit and be in full costume to keep up with the theme and all but (all together now) C’MON SON! He looked like someone’s grandpa that got drug out to go trick or treating for Halloween. No sir.

3. Steve Colbert’s shout out to Susan Boyle: Someone said to me recently that there is truth in all humor. I wish there would have been a Come to Jesus moment for the industry when he said that the woman that saved the music industry last year was 48 and wears sensible shoes. Lord help.

4. I wonder what Kanye West and Chris Brown are doing at the house tonight…

5. Wow! Song of the Year already? “Single Ladies” deserved it. This will be sung at every wedding reception from now until Jesus comes back.  Am I the only one that didn’t know that Katt Williams was a co-writer? Yes, I saw The Dream’s jacket. Why won’t I go in on it? Because it was a nightmare. Moving on…

6. Didn’t Mariah Carey put out an album last year?  Huh.

7.  Green Day: Fuming Ok look, I realize what my problem lately with Green Day is. If I admit that they are old then I have to admit that I am old too and I am not ready to do that. With that being said, I really couldn’t take them and the cast of Rent performing together. For real? I can’t take Green Day doing these Soft Rock Easy Listening hits. I am too nostalgic and old school for this kind of Green Day.

8.  Taylor Swift’s first win of the night: "I feel like I am standing here accepting an impossible dream". JACKED. ME. UP. Love her. Don’t care.

9. Bouncy’s up…Whoa! Is she about to sing “They Don’t Really Care About US”? The soldiers were REALLY serious. Is this a part of the Michael Jackson tribute? I am so confused. She is going HARD! I feel like I should be paying for all this! Does she have a Paypal account? I didn’t see the Alanis cover coming and I’m not mad at it. And the band: Ferocious. Good luck following that.

10.  Pink’s performance: Well if there was anyone who could follow Beyonce’s performance it was Pink. I was a little confused by her swaddling clothes at first and even more confused when I looked up at the screen and she suddenly was barely wearing any but her performance was amazing. Now I know we have seen her do her acrobatic thing before but this David Blaine type stuff with water was next level. However, I know sistas were mad in the audience. I know I would be. I don’t get my hair all done up for it to get rained on because you want to play Cirque De Soleil. Regardless, she sang, she sang well, and she sang upside down. Pink is a beast. Close the books.

11. Oooh CBS is on a schedule. They are wrappin’ yall up QUICK tonight!

12. The Black Eyed Peas: Ok, this may be the beginning of my guilty pleasure confessions of the evening. This “Imma Be” song makes me want to pull up outside of a club, wait for it to come on, get the valet to keep it running while I go in for five minutes to drop it and then leave a soon as it goes off. I went kinda crazy the first time I heard this. However, “I Got a Feeling” for the 1326th time? If someone gave me a choice between never hearing this song ever again and raising my FICA score to perfection I would choose the former. I can’t take it anymore.

13.  Is Joe Jonas even old enough for me to talk about yet? I’ll wait.

14. Kings of Leon won!!!! Hendersonville stand up! Or is it Knoxville? Regardless, I love me some KOL.

And then, the bane of my existence: Buffoonish tomfoolery.

Does somebody want to explain to me why they got one of the most famous ex-substance abuse addicts, Robert Downey Jr., to introduce “Blame It on the Alcohol”? That is NOT cute. Jaime Foxx needs to grow up and make some grown man music. Now look, I have a few guilty pleasure songs, I will admit that. But I have a general rule: 8 times out of 10 if a song contains lyrics where a man is saying things to a woman that I would spray him with mace over, I am not having it. You can blame feeling on my “butt what” on the alcohol if you want to. You will also be blaming my size 9-½ shoe on why you are no longer able to have children. I am done and no I don’t want to talk about T-Pain!

15. Is it me or does Ke$ha look like a broke down Debbie Gibson minus some crimps in her hair? Anyone?

16.  Zac Brown Band is lettin' yall have it! They are really good. I usually get scared when this kind of music comes on. I hear a "HEE" & I DO NOT stick around for the "HAW"

17. Taylor Swift’s performance: Now look. I am not delusional. I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT but someone on her label may need to start administering some tough love because her vocals tonight were so off. She is a fantastic writer and would probably actually be a good singer if they gave her some time to get better. I was so happy for her that Stevie Nicks was singing one of her songs though. Was that Adam Lambert on guitar? Hey a check is a check.

18.  The Michael Jackson tribute: I was so happy that we made it out of the snow to get the 3-D glasses from Target today! I prepared myself to not cry and was actually grateful that they didn’t show a lot of Michael Jackson pictures. Just his voice choked me up. Confession: I tried to pinch Smokey Robinson when he came on the screen in HDTV 3-D. Does that make me a cougar in reverse? I prefer the term “puma” anyway.

And I can barely talk about the children right now. It is still fresh. OK I will say that little Prince jacked me up and I predict Paris Jackson has been called to preach. Mark my words.

19. Umm, I would’ve appreciated Jon Bon Jovi in 3-D as well. Just sayin’. CBS could have kept that on.

20.  I don't care that Mos Def mumbles and looks like Richie Cunningham tonight! That is still my boo!!!!

21.  I had no idea why they let Solange’s child up there with his Uncle Jay-Z when they accepted the award for “Run This Town” and apparently neither did he.

22. So I kinda think that Kelly Clarkson should be onstage getting a grammy too because Halo and Already Gone are (for the last time) the SAME DAGGONE SONG!!!!

23. One of my friends said that when she dies she wants to come back as LL Cool J’s chapstick. LOL!!!! That is exactly how I feel about Maxwell’s microphone stand.

24. Maxwell’s up now and killing me softly with “Pretty Wings”. Time to get your body roll on ladies! I am so delighted to see Robert Flack on stage but I am almost sure that she can’t hear herself.

25. These RIP’s are slaying me right now. Would the mention of Michael Jackson be overkill? I guess so. I was sad but glad to see them mention Pop Winans though.

26. I am so confused by Quentin Tarantino right now .  I don’t even know what he is saying.

27. Drake, Lil’ Wayne. Eminem performance: The Grammy’s should not have had them on. Period. If you have to do that much censoring, why bother? It was annoying and it took away from the band particularly Travis Barker on the drums. Thumbs way down.

28. What no “Pants on the Ground”?

29. Taylor Swift wins Album of the Year. Sometimes good girls finish last and it’s a good thing. Again, love Taylor, don’t care and there you have it, the  2010’s Grammy awards. Discuss…

BEST. EMAIL. EVER - Tia

I got the following email today that literally almost killed me because I had to hold in fits and screams of laughter in an office full of people. I JUST got this job and thus can not afford to lose it because I'm screaming and howling with laughter. I was just sitting there in my borrowed cube at Duke waiting on IT to come and fix my computer. I open up my email and, no lie, I bite down on my own hand to keep from SCREAMING with laughter...seriously, this may be the funniest thing I have seen all year. Anne Marie, henceforth, I will be waiting until after business hours to read any email from you.

Subject: Remember that time

Mariah started eating again and Nick Cannon was Farnsworth Bentley?

Honestly, what am I supposed to do with that? His face coupled with Anne Marie's wit destroyed me for the day....And scene....

Something New - Tia

I'm gonna try something new...Bear with me.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!!!

Happy MLK Day! I encourage everyone to read "Strength to Love" by MLK. That book really changed how I saw tolerance for everyone. It indeed takes a lot of strength to love and fight for those who seem to fight against you. I am indeed working today and while I could be salty about it, if it wasn't for MLK would I really have this job in the south? I doubt it.

This scripture reminds me of him:
Hebrews 11:13 All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.

Here's to living by faith while dreaming for a better day...-Toya

Comments

Until we get the comments situation straightened out feel free to use the Shoutbox to the right.

Updates on stuff and things - Tia
(We are aware that the comments are down. We are working on that and on a new format. We hope to have everything moved by March. Sorry for the inconvenience.)

I find that I get really distracted these days by what's going on in the moment. Toya once said that I'm easily tracked as in one-track mind. I think it was a nice way of saying that I'm a bit absent-minded. But it's true. I sometimes tend to focus on what's happening in the moment and forget about other things that are going on. That said, I have been hopelessly slack on posting. I will attempt to do better in the coming days. So here goes...

- I got a job. I got a great job. I work for DUKE!!! Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I have been a fan of Duke basketball since I was about 11. So this job is so perfect. I still don't know if I can get tickets to the games (I hear you have to practically knock down someone's grandmother to get seats) but it's a job nonetheless. It is a contract position. The contract is a couple of years long. So it's a good fit for the moment.

I sat down and did my budget and things will be looking up pretty soon here. And since I spent the last few months living like a vagabond, I now know what I can and can't live off of. So if I play my cards right and if my math is correct I should be out of credit card debt and have my car paid off by the time my lease is up. So PRAISE GOD!!!! for everything that has happened in the last few months.

- NYC....Yeah....I was ill prepared for the animal that is NYC. The cold was a shock to my system. I walked outside one day and just didn't know what to do because of the cold. I literally just stood there for a moment and cursed the air because it was so cold. I also was not prepared for how much of a hassle it is to get small things done in a city where everything is supposed to be convenient. By that I mean, I'm so accustomed to being within 5 miles of 4 Krogers, 2 Walmarts, several banks, a car wash and every gas station known to man. I was not prepared to have to work to find a gas station and lactose free milk and I have given up on getting my car washed with any sort of regular frequency. (That last part is a shame because the birds do not seem to care how cold it is and camp out in the trees on my block if for no other reason than so that they crap on all of the cars on the street.) It's still a shock to my system and my wallet to have to pay $7 for lactose free milk. I can understand housing being more expensive but the cost of food makes no sense to me. There's no justification. It's not like the milk has to travel farther to get here. It's insulting. But I mean...it's NEEEEEW YOOOOORRRRK....so I mean...I guess.

- Home has taken on new meaning for me. I got to go to Nashville for New Years. It was the first time that I'd been there since the summer. Thanks to a couple of parties I got to see a lot of my friends and I realized that I really missed those people. I have spent the last 6 years in an industry that does not allow for a lot of time to build relationships. (Please reference Up In the Air. That's basically been my life for the last few years.) And as I've gotten older I've gotten crotchety and don't really want to take the time to meet a lot of new people. But then I fight loneliness on an almost daily basis, so go figure. The thing is, I like the friends that I have. And while I'm not completely averse to meeting new people, it's nice to meet people that come with a referral, if you will.

Anyway, after being there I realized that Nashville really is home for me. I spent every summer of my childhood there with my father and then I lived there up until the adventures of the last few years happened. And for all it's faults and 1 degree of separation and boys in skinny jeans it's home. And if I'm being honest, I want to go home.

- New Years was...eye opening. After making out with a friend of a friend of mine on New Years (yes...that happened. And don't ask who it was. Nashville is small and we have a lot of readers there and I would prefer to not have someone walk up to dude in Crema and ask him about the incident) I realized that I really want a serious relationship and I really want to be married. Random hook-ups with random guys are nice for about 3 minutes and then it's old. So many of my friends are married, having babies, buying homes and I feel like I've missed a step some how. Not that marriage and kids makes you an adult. But there's something about sharing your life with another person that I really want to do.

I was watching Away We Go the other night (great movie by the way) and there is a scene when Maya Rudolph asks, "Are we f*ckups?" referring to she and her boyfriend's station in life. I completely understood where she was coming from with that. For all intents and purposes, I feel like I have nothing to show for my life of adulthood that I have been in for some time now. And while I'm not saying that a relationship would validate my "adultness" I think it would on some level cushion the blow of the haphazard life I seem to live.....I don't know...I just think it would be nice to do life with someone.....

That's all I've got for now. I'll holla.

Who Already Has My Vote...All of Them

This is Toya, your favorite music snob. You may remember Jermaine Sellers from the first season of BET's Sunday Best. I am absolutely over the moon for this cutie. Real talk? This is the bar that every American Idol audition should be set. If you can't sing this good or better, you don't even need to audition. Seriously, now that Teddy Pendergrass (and Gerald Levert and Luther Vandross and Barry White, etc.) are gone, if labels don't start signing real singers quick, soul music as we know it is going to disappear. I can't wait to vote for him.

JImmy Fallon is Trying to Kill Me

This mess right here? Why does he sound JUST like Neil Young?! I can't...

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

We Already Miss You Teddy

*Sigh* What are we going to do about our music? Seriously. Everytime a great artist like this dies, I think a bit of what's left of Soul music dies too. Teddy was one of a kind and we were so blessed to have him. His music will live on forever and ever. Please keep his family in your prayers today.

She's Back: Sade - Soldier Of Love (Official Music Video)

I mean, I'm glad I just started getting into Pilates cause she looks incredible! Oh and look! She's wearing clothes. That Sade. Always next level...- Toya

What the....??? How Did We Miss This???


We've only been waiting for Matt Morris' debut CD since we started this blog seven years ago so how we failed to announce the release of his debut release "When Everything Breaks Open" is beyond me. As usual, I will blame it on the recession and keep it moving.

So yes, it is out and you already know that it's fiya so be sure to support ya boy. Those who were lucky enough to cop his out of print "Unspoken" CD (I own two cause I can't afford to lose one of those. It's golden.) will recognize "Eternity", the last track on the CD. To listen to the CD in its entirety go to AOL's Full CD Listening Party page.

New Angel Taylor Video- "Like You Do"

VH1 TV Shows Music Videos Celebrity Photos News & Gossip

Great news! BGLU fave Angel Taylor is this month's VH1"s You Oughta Know artist! Congratulations Angel! Her debut album "Love Travels" is in stores now.

"Heartbreak Warfare" from Upcoming "VH1 Storytellers" featuring John Mayer

VH1 TV Shows Music Videos Celebrity Photos News & Gossip

Why do I feel the need to send my tithe to Columbia Records after I see John Mayer perform on television? Probably because I darn near have a Holy Ghost revival in my room whenever he does "Gravity". Say what you need to say (bad pun) John's music will minister.

The Right Reverend will be on the only show remotely right on VH1, Storytellers, on Thursday, January 28th. Get your hankies out.
- Toya

My Favorite Person I Have Never Met, Hands Down- Toya

This right here makes me lean over with laughter every single time. He is serious! Happy Monday :O)

Elliott Yamin is RI-DI-CU-LOUS

Thank you Monick for trying to get me fired. I need my job and I am up here squirming in my chair. Elliott is a sangin somebody! For those of you in the Atlanta area, he will be at Smith's Olde Bar in Atlanta on January 16th. For those of us that aren't, watch him join Bobby Caldwell in singing the classic "What You Won't Do For Love".

I'm Wit It!!!!! Our Family Wedding-Trailer

First of all, Lance Gross is THE BUSINESS. I would watch a 2 hour movie of him sitting in front of a wall of drying paint. And America Ferrera has been representing well for quite some time now. I think this may be a good one.- Toya

*Blank Stare*- Official Music Video for Flavor Flav - I'll Never Let You Go

1:52. Jesus had to raise me from the dead at 1:52.

To quote my brother, This ain't even the Death of Autotune... this is Autotune thrown into the Lake of Fire with Satan, Death, and Hades!!!! Don’t get me wrong, I believe Flav is sincere. SO sincere, bless his heart. However, the following people are not sincere, have set him up to be clowned and therefore need their behinds whooped: the record label, the song’s producer, the songwriter, the video director, the best boy grip, catering, transportation, the state of California and everyone else involved in this mess. Oh and of course, T-Pain but he has had a behind whoopin’ coming for some time now, hasn’t he?

Happy 2010!!!!!!


Tia and I (Toya) spent New Year's Eve (and weekend) together here in Nashville. Right after the ball dropped, I went into one of the bedrooms in the house we were partying in, sat on the bed and exhaled over and over and over again like I just ran four city blocks. I looked back on the past year and just though "Whew! What a ride! Thank you God that is over with." 2009 was absolutely crazy. I don't care what happens this year, I am just glad that 2009 is over.

Do I have New Year's resolutions? Not really. I have a short term memory (a selective one I guess) so the best I can do is stop going through cycles and that's day by day. I feel like this is the year of the great wide open. I have big expectations on top of no expectations at all. I seriously don't know what I want this year to bring specifically outside of simple direction.

Deuteronomy 30 is my bible verse for the year. It's great. It basically says that God has a lot for us and wants to do a lot for us but obedience to Him and maintaining those blessings demands a lot from us. It seems impossible for me sometimes to think that I can do the right thing the majority of the time when it comes to the things I most struggle with but this is my favorite part right here:

¹¹ Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. ¹² It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" ¹³ Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" ¹⁴ No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

¹⁵ See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. ¹⁶ For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

Loving God for me has to come before obedience. A lot of that lies in the belief that He loves me. I learned last year that in some ways I went through the motions when it came to my faith. I needed to read this much of the bible, and pray this way, and worship a certain way and I got frustrated. God wants honesty. I'd hate to be married to someone and every time we got together their words seemed so calculated. I'd hate if something was wrong in our relationship and I hurt them if they never told me and kept saying "But you're the best though!" I would want to know the truth. The better my relationship with God becomes the more I want to trust in what He says and follow it. It's not easy though.

Every year Tia and I have a slogan for the new year. This year is full with so much uncertainty that I don't think we can come up with a catchy one. I have heard Win in 2010. I have heard Get Men in 2010. Hey, I am not opposed to either! LOL! While I may not have a slogan, I do have a belief: this year is going to be like none other. What are you all expecting for 2010?